“ Whether I keep you half alive or you keep yourself half alive, whichever way- it's torture ”
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkhbA77CNs4
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if you are going to make people around you joyful and relieved only when you die, that's not a good way to live. 
The most precious thing in life is life itself. Are you getting this now or only on your deathbed? 
The most beautiful moments in your life have happened to you only when you kept your logic aside a little bit. 
Do you have any proof that you are not already in heaven and making a mess of it? 
The moment you are born, you have a death sentence upon you. When, where and how is the only question. Your death is confirmed. 