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“ In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. ”
Categories: Science Humor
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Student: Dr. Einstein, Aren't these the same questions as last year's [physics] final exam? Dr. Einstein: Yes; But this year the answers are different. 
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them! 
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. 
When you're drowning you don't think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream. 
Well, that's your opinion, isn't it? And I'm not about to waste my time trying to change it. 